Sigh...

So this week the kids have Thanksgiving Luncheons at school that parents are invited to attend. Last week we were talking about the luncheons and I asked Jake if he wanted me to come. He had to think for a minute (I am hoping the whole 5 seconds he isn't too "tween" to not want me there), and then said that sure I could come, sigh! So then we were talking to Sally and Ben about their luncheon and how we would work that out. Ben wanted Brian to come to his, no great surprise, Ben openly admitted when he was 5 that he loved Brian more than me. So that worked out great, I was going with Sally and Brian would go with Ben. Later that night, Ben asked me why I hadn't been to the school to have lunch with him when I had already been there to have lunch with Sally. I reminded him that for the last 2 years he adamantly told me he didn't want me to have lunch with him--way too embarrassing! Although I did once anyway! He said, "oh, yeah, well, I want you to come have lunch with me now." Sigh... I have always been alright with the relationship Ben has with his Dad, he has been that way since he was 6 months old. But oh, how I loved hearing him tell me that! Of course he still wants Brian to come to the luncheon with him, but I have been officially invited to eat with him some other time! Again, sigh...

Sally has been telling me for the last two days that she can't wait for Thursday because I get to eat lunch with her, sigh...

Tuesday I went to lunch with Jake. He was happy to show everyone his baby sister and introduce Kash to everyone. We sat with his best friend and his mom and had a nice lunch. When we got done eating, Jake said he was ready to go so he would have some recess still. I got up to leave and he gave me a HUG!!! Sigh... Right then I realized how much that meant to me, that he would still give me a hug in front of all his friends. I decided I wasn't ever going to let any of my kids not do that. I thought I was prepared for them to not want to, but I am not and never will be. So if I embarrass them, so be it, at least they will always know I love them.

They critique my cooking, tell me I am unfair, ask why I don't do this or that, don't appreciate all the laundry I do, but they do little things every day that make all I do so worth it. I love these little people and just have to savor the "moments" instead of getting hung up on all the "if onlys".