Monday, December 14, 2009

The Season

Thanksgiving was wonderful. It was so nice to spend Thanksgiving with family. The kids really do love being with cousins and I love watching them. I will admit that not living in my own house for the first time since Brian and I have been married has had it's challenges. But I feel so grateful to Kathi for letting us "borrow" her house that those challenges seem very insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

We had Grandma Sally's 86th birthday party/Christmas party here this past weekend. There were 30 + people here, lots of food and everyone seemed to have a wonderful time. I actually left because I had tickets to attend the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert. Natalie Cole and David McCullough were the guest performers. When I knew the tickets were going to conflict with the party, I wasn't sure what to do. But I went to the concert anyway, not with Brian and the boys like I had planned, but I got to spend the evening with friends I hadn't spent time with in forever. I must say, as much as I know I missed a great party, I am so glad I went. I am such a HUGE fan of David McCullough and the concert was fabulous. And catching up with friends was great. Sitting listening to beautiful music, seeing the lights on Temple Square, being with friends (and family later), all made me appreciate what this season is all about. I am constantly chasing the "magic" of the season for my children in an attempt to recapture it for myself. But I have discovered that the magic is really all about the innocence and wonder. I sometimes wish I could feel 5 again this time of year. I wish I didn't have to worry about all the things adults worry about and just be amazed by the feelings, sights and sounds. I keep trying...

This year, things are as different as they could be from years in the past. We have tried so hard to make sure our kids don't feel the stress and pressure that Brian and I are dealing with while we work through the changes that have happened. But they know. They are so perceptive while we continue to try and be deceptive. I hope we have given them enough information to understand but not enough to worry. I want to feel awful that we haven't sold our house and investors for the business continue to fall through, but while it is certainly discouraging, I feel tremendously blessed. We have our families who love and support us, we have 5 healthy children, we have a warm house and enough food and I continue to have faith that all this will work out. I can't imagine living without hope. And yet I know there are so many who do. So this Christmas I am wishing for faith and hope for all those who are without. I hope all of you that I love and miss all over this beautiful country are warm and happy and surrounded by those you love most.